Saturday, March 10, 2012

The Art of Letting Go


Put away the pictures, put away the memories
I go over and over through my tears
I've held them 'til I'm blind, they kept my hope alive
as if somehow that might keep you here
won't you believe in a love forevermore
how do you leave it in a drawer

We have been friends since high school.  The friendship has now lasted for eleven years and a month.  But every chance I have been given, I am dead sure, I am madly in love with the person. I have always thought I have met the one.

Now here it comes, the hardest part of all
unchain my heart that's holding on
how do I start to live my life alone
guess I'm just learning, learning the art of letting go

Like every good novel or even a child's fairytale, they all have endings.  High school graduation came, the person was my senior. High school needs to be left behind -including me. Oh how I wished that time ticked faster.

Try to say it's over, say the word goodbye
but each time it catches in my throat
you're still here with me and i can't set you free
so I hold on to what i wanted most
maybe someday we'll be friends forevermore
wish I could open up that door

Why not confess what you feel? I did. Several times but I guess, I was the one who always fails in this genre of confrontations. I don't know if I have said the wrong words or probably he was picking it up all wrong. All I ever get is a nod then a smile. With a face so serene like him, it's hard to fish out for the correct answer.

Now here it comes the hardest part of all
unchain my heart that's holding on
how do I start to live my life alone
guess I'm just learning, learning the art of letting go

College came, I enrolled to a different school.  Amidst to that, we still get to see each other.  I don't know what happened. It's like things became as they were before. We get to spend our lunches and vacant periods with each other. We would even take leisurely walk towards home together. Get to talk about our day's account.  He knows what I feel towards him but I didn't press on the issue.  Guess, it's easier not to put label on some things.

What can I say, what can I do
but try to make it through the pain
not one more day without you

One day, he didn't show up on our usual meeting place.  I have asked several of his blockmates if he went in for class but they have said he didn't.  Weird, he was all okay the day after.
Later that night, the mobile phone sounded with a brief SMS, "U BC? Cn u call me n d telephone now?"
Me, being as obedient as ever, followed.
Everything was a blur at that time. I don't think I was making sense with my replies.  I wasn't even thinking straight.  He was bound to go first flight to Manila the next day and I can't do anything about it.  I felt crushed.  Yes, pathetic as it may sound, I felt miserable.

Where do I start to live my life alone
I guess I'm learning, I'll be learning
learning the art of letting go

We were able to communicate even though we do not see each other. Praises to technology for that. What is puzzling me however is that he keeps on saying, "sorry" every time we are about to end our communication.
He came back, we met.  And I have met another person through that meeting.
"Oh, so you are Brian -the little brother he didn't have".
Yes. Those words stung, I'd be lying if I said it didn't.
Funny though, it didn't hurt as much I thought it would be.
Yes, he got himself a partner.

And I...


I have let him go ☺

12 comments:

  1. I noticed recently that your post is about love... hehe

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    Replies
    1. hehehe, nilabas ko lang saloobin ko prior to hitting the restart button on life ☺

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    2. awwww... inlove si brian! hehe

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    3. wahahahaha tapos na nga, Wizz. I let go na nga di ba? Hehehe "little bro" ya daw ako. Tawa lang, kasi ang laki ko na kaya ☺

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  2. Replies
    1. ok lang. was able to recover from this. kaya na post ko 'to nyahahahaha ☺

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  3. nice post.

    hope you find the one soon. =)

    ReplyDelete